Whether you have a jealous partner or whether you yourself are dealing with jealousy in a relationship, it is exhausting and grueling. Jealousy is one of the biggest killers of a relationship, driving otherwise loving people apart.
A healthy dose of jealousy can actually be good for relationship, affirming why you are attracted to each other in the first place. Though the emotion in itself is not harmful, an overdose will lead to mistrust and paranoia. Not only are you driving yourself crazy, but your partner as well. No one likes to have their every action analyzed.
Learning ways of coping with jealousy in a relationship can be very difficult, especially if there are other underlying causes making you feel the way you do. You might have suffered a broken heart from the infidelity of a previous relationship. Regardless of the motivating factors, there are ways you can teach yourself to control it. Learn how to cope with fits of jealousy and your relationship will be the better for it.
Dissect Your Feelings
As with most emotional burdens, sweeping the problem under the carpet is not going to make it go away. You need a strong desire to do what is necessary to learn how to overcome jealousy in a relationship. Becoming aware of any feelings of insecurity and anger is the first step, before you completely sever the connection with the one you love. Establish why you are feeling the way you do will help you determine your own underlying insecurities.
Talk it Out
Once you know what is causing you to feel insecure or suspicious, share this with your partner. Be open with what you are feeling and explain the situation. If you and your partner have a healthy relationship otherwise, you should be able to communicate your needs clearly. Usually when people are suspicious, they tend to hide their feelings from their partner. In the end, this will only negatively affect your behavior towards them.
Work towards a mutual agreement and solution. More often than not, you will get the reassurance you need.
Watch Your Thoughts
Negative thought patterns and doubts will put you right back in the situation that you are trying to avoid in the first place. Instead, try to think about things differently, and do your utmost to erase doubt. If you do not trust your partner, why are you with them to begin with?
How to overcome jealousy in a relationship? With trust. Whether you are experiencing jealousy, or your partner, you will need to give them the feeling of being trusted. Suspicion begets more suspicion. The more you try to cage someone and keep them by your side, the more they will feel the need to break out. Such is human nature.
- Give each other space. A healthy relationship is not based on possession. None of you are trophies to be kept on a shelf. Allow each other social contact, with boundaries.
- Your partner is allowed to have friends. The hard truth is, your partner had a life before you, and will need to have a life after you. Personal history cannot be erased just because you want it so.
- If your jealousy is from a rooted emotional cause, get the help you need to overcome those fears. Your partner fell in love with you in the first place, in spite of your insecurities.